When Laura and her husband found out they were going to have a baby, they were excited, anxious, and “probably a little more surprised than most,” writes Laura.
Laura’s husband is a quadriplegic, and they weren’t sure they would be able to conceive naturally. But they did, and they found themselves staring down the road to parenthood. They had lots of questions, and since many of those centered around parenting with a disability, they couldn’t easily find answers.
“By definition, life with a disability often requires a DIY approach, and parenting — which demands flexibility of everyone — is no exception.”
Laura and her husband turned to other fathers with SCIs and their partners to get an idea of what they could expect.
Here’s some of what they uncovered about parenting with a disability:
- “My husband is very creative and resourceful — we made a harness out of rock-climbing webbing with a handle on the back so he could scoop the kidsoff the floor when they were crawling and put them on his lap!” – Spouse of a quadriplegic.
- “I was terrified to be left alone with our baby for the first time, but knew it was necessary and that, with some flexibility, it would be OK. Turns out, we had a great time, and I now cherish one-on-one time with her.” – Quadriplegic dad
- “My husband has a lot of patience with our daughter — certainly more patience than I do. He is the parent who most often will get her to slow down and focus just by using his words. He explains things very well — from ideas on how to help her through an emotional time to instructions on how to complete a physical task.” – Spouse of a quadriplegic
During their research, the couple also discovered common fears that parents with disabilities often experience, like initially questioning their ability to properly care for their children. But everyone they encountered were able to figure out their own ways of navigating the path of parenthood.
So what did Laura and her husband take away from the information thrown their way? Laura sums it up like this:
“ With an added stroke of the qualities that help any parent be successful — dialogue, flexibility and a willingness to mess up until you get it right — I’m confident we’ll do just fine.”
We think so too!
Be sure to share this post with soon-to-be-parents!