“Growing up with a disability, I spent a lot of time thinking about how I had to do things differently than able-bodied people,” says Patrick Bohn, a wheelchair user who was born with cerebral palsy. While certain activities proved to be more challenging and time consuming for Patrick, he learned to accept things as is so that he could live his best life.
However, those feelings started to change when Patrick found out that his wife (Ashley) was pregnant with their daughter (Cora). He states, “Here’s the thing: I was okay when the things I had to do differently for me, but I felt really self-conscious about doing things differently with Cora.”
“The last thing I’d want is my daughter to be mad at me because I’m in a wheelchair and it forced her to miss out on something that she thought was normal.”
Patrick started questioning his abilities as a parent – “What if she got upset with me because of something I did differently? What if, as she got older, she resented me? Would she see what other fathers did and think to herself “My dad can’t do that. That’s not fair!””
Patrick expressed his feelings to Ashley. She reassured him that every parent does things differently, whether one has a disability or not. Ashley stated that Cora would perceive Patrick’s wheelchair as her ‘normal’.
“She wouldn’t see it as “I have to things a certain way because my Daddy’s in a wheelchair.” She’d see it as just the way we do things. In other words, it might not be the world’s normal, but it would become her normal.”
Patrick gives an example of how Cora has adapted to his wheelchair. He shares a photo of Ashley and Cora snuggled up on the couch and states this is how Cora reads with most people. Then he shares a photo of himself reading with Cora stating, “The photo on the right is how Cora reads with me (95% of the time, at least. We also cuddle and read) She climbs up on my wheelchair’s footrests and we read facing each other.”
Patrick writes, “Cora’s not mad that reading with me is different than reading with reading with others. She doesn’t view it as anything different. She just comes up to me and says, “Daddy, I want you to read me this book. Don’t worry, I’ll move these footrests into the right position so I can climb on them. All done. Look! It’s the Five Little Pumpkins!”
Patrick admits he likes the fact that he and Cora have their own way of reading together. “It makes me feel confident that the two of us are going to find ways to make lots of things our own,” he says.