When Patrick found out his wife Ashley was pregnant, he was both excited and terrified at the same time. “I spent the day crying with joy about my impending fatherhood…and worrying,” he shares.
Patrick has cerebral palsy (CP) which primarily affects his legs, though it also affects his arms – in particular his fine motor skills. So Patrick’s had some reservations about his ability to build things (like nursery furniture) in preparation for his daughter’s arrival.
“I was legitimately worried that I wasn’t going to be able to take care of my daughter by putting things together for her.”
But instead of letting his worry impede his efforts, Patrick and Ashley tackled the task of painting their daughter’s room together. “I handled most of the middle ground,” says Patrick, “while Ashley took care of the top and bottom of the walls, and most of the edging. We even designed and pulled off an accent wall!” He admits that there were frustrating moments for him like when he struggled to put the tape on straight or when he had trouble with the paint roller, but in the end, he and Ashley got the job done.
Patrick’s second task was assembling the portable crib, a task that can be tricky enough for an able-bodied parent, let alone someone with impaired fine motor skills. Compared to painting the room, this task was tougher both mentally and physically for Patrick.
“To me, a Pack-n-Play was about my daughter’s safety and security, and I really wanted to prove to her that I could “build” something to take care of her. So when I was struggling to understand the directions, or make one piece of plastic fit inside of the other, I couldn’t help but worry: “Does this mean I’m not going to take care of my daughter?””
Once again, Patrick and Ashley completed this task as a team. And Ashley helped reassure Patrick that even though he may have had some struggles with the crib, he would indeed be able to properly care for their child.
While Patrick admits that he still has feelings of insecurity about fatherhood, these two successful projects certainly gave him the boost of confidence he needed.