Blog, Health & Wellness, Mental Health, Newly Injured, Parents with Disabilities, Peer Support

Thankful Even in the Tough Times: My Spinal Cord Injury Perspective

  • Dave, a father and husband, discusses how he learned to live with his spinal cord injury. 
  • He shares his top coping tips. 
  • Also, he shares what he’d like health practitioners to understand. 
  • Explore our partners at the Model Systems Knowledge Translation Center‘s database for more specific information on spinal cord injury.  

On Christmas Eve 15 years ago, Dave collided with a tree while snowboarding at a Brighton, Utah, ski resort. After a helicopter airlifted him off the mountain to the nearest hospital, he discovered he had sustained a T6 complete spinal cord injury.  

As Dave says, Usually, when a snowboarder and a tree hit each other, the tree wins.”  

Rehab was challenging for Dave because of multiple health problems like urinary tract infections and blood pressure fluctuations. “I could not even sit up in bed for the first month because I would pass out,” he says. Additionally, he felt guilty, saying, “I’m the one that caused this and made that choice to go snowboarding that changed everyone’s life.”  

But one of Dave’s most significant post-injury obstacles was what he called the complete rearrangement of his family. One of his sons has a mental disability and takes medication to treat severe seizures. Before Dave’s injury, he handled much of his son’s care. But after his accident, he also required assistance.   

This shift in the family arrangement was extremely difficult for Dave’s wife, and he expresses that he “is so blessed she stayed with me through it all.”  

Challenges and Solutions

Dave’s love for the outdoors has never changed.

Being unable to go backpacking after his injury was a significant challenge for Dave and his oldest son. They used to enjoy long-distance summer trips to various areas of northern New Mexico, Utah, and Colorado. His three sons were 15, 10 and 4 at the time of his injury.   

Dave says he was more present for his oldest son post-injury. “I haven’t had the crutch of being able to take him out into the wilderness to get him out of the house. We would do other things like go for drives or on hikes on paved trails,” he says. “I have become a better father to him because I’m not off doing those things.”  

As for his youngest son, Dave says, “I think it has turned out for the best because my youngest son does not enjoy outdoor activities like backpacking and camping at all,” he says. “My youngest does not really remember me walking, so he has had a completely different path than the others.”  

Dave picked up new hobbies to replace backpacking. For example, he found a love for wildlife photography and building computers with his youngest son, which has led him to pursue a computer tech certificate.  

Dave’s Top 8 Spinal Cord Injury Coping Strategies

Dave recommends these strategies to cope with disability:   

  • Focus on the possible: “I’ve learned that I can’t worry about the things that I can’t do. I have to focus on the things that I can do.”  
  • Learn to relax: “I do more meditation, reading, and watching movies with my youngest son.” 
  • Think of others: “When I focus on myself, I become myopic and don’t see the world through clear eyes. But if I focus on helping others, I do much better mentally because I’m not worried about my problems but about how to help someone else.” 
  • Join a community: “Through the pandemic, I became part of several spinal cord injury zoom groups. We have a few people who keep in contact with the hospitals in different areas. Whenever we find someone with a new injury, we invite them to our zoom groups and answer their questions because they have no idea what they’re getting into. It helps to have a perspective from somebody who’s been there and to give them shortcuts to how to heal faster.” 
  • Know your feelings are valid: There can be a lot of anger and frustration about various issues right after sustaining a new injury, such as the lengthy rehab process and transportation complications. Dave says it is important to understand “that it is OK to feel that anger” about whatever the circumstance may be.  
  • Consider therapy: “I saw a therapist during my first year after my injury, and that helped me overcome my anger issues.” 
  • Set small goals: Or, as Dave puts it, “Don’t try to eat the whole enchilada in one bite.” Early on in his rehab process, one small goal was “to get out of bed each day.”  
  • Foster gratitude: And finally, Dave brings up a great reminder for all of us: “Because there are so many things to be mad at, it is important to think about things that you’re thankful for.” 

A smiling man barrels down an autumn trail on his adapted mountain bike. Recommendations for Healthcare Practitioners

Dave recommends that all healthcare practitioners “treat us like people — not just a patient or chart.” Some people with an SCI feel that “the doctor just doesn’t listen to them, or the doctor doesn’t validate what they’re feeling and say, ‘it’s just in your head.'” Instead, healthcare practitioners should validate their feelings and refer them to appropriate specialists when requested. 

Another important thing for practitioners to realize is that “we are flaky – we have things beyond our control. We have to cancel appointments sometimes because things come up.”  

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