“If you are a parent, you know the feeling of pride that comes from watching your child(ren) perform in a school play or sing at an event; you’ve experienced the joy that occurs when you visit the classroom or engage in school activities with your child(ren),” says Lyllyan Blare.
Lyllyan is a wheelchair user and she continues by posing the question – What would you do if you as a parent had to stay outside the classroom or auditorium while your child was performing? She states this is often a reality for parents who use wheelchairs.
“When a parent uses a wheelchair or doesn’t have the ability to climb stairs, there’s often no choice but for them to miss out on various aspects and events in their child(ren)’s life. For no other reason than structural inaccessibility, some disabled parents are placed in the awkward position of not being present in their child(ren)’s affairs.“
“But, imagine if you had to stay outside the classroom door or couldn’t make it into the auditorium to watch the show. Imagine the feelings of guilt, sadness, and separation you’d feel if you couldn’t participate the way every other parent was able to participate,” says Lyllyan.
Lyllyan discusses the accessibility issues she faced when her daughter started kindergarten. She says there was plenty of handicap parking in the parking lot. However, none of the spaces were van accessible. She expressed her concerns and the police and principal told her to take up two handicap spots.
Lyllyan states that the school was extremely wheelchair accessible once she was inside. But, her power chair could only enter through the main entrance, which is located two schools down from her daughters.
“I would try my best to park near the main entrance whenever I arrived for school activities and then make my way through the high school and middle school to the elementary wing,” says Lyllyan.
Lyllyan was able to attend all of her daughter’s activities. She says, “It was wonderful, and I had no complaints. I was simply happy to be able to go and be!”
As the school year went on, the school began to make accommodations for Lyllyan. During the third month of the fall semester, the school added a van accessible parking spot in the parking lot. Then right before Christmas break, the school built a ramp to another entrance so Lyllyan did not have to enter the school only through the main entrance.
“It sent me the message that I was just as important as the able-bodied parents; that I was wanted and needed there; that I was respected. They recognized my need to be with my child.”
Lyllyan states that while the school gave her two gifts, she believes she also gave them a gift — the gift of awareness.
She says, “But, as society becomes more aware of the existence of parents with special needs and is educated about the need for accommodations, disabled parents will gain equal access in places such as schools, gyms, auditoriums, etc. There will be a day when we no longer experience our child(ren)’s lives vicariously but are fully engaged as we are meant to be.”
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