Jeff, Kristen and their daughter Evie are like any other family who love each other, take family pictures, and help each other. In 2013, Jeff suffered a spinal cord injury and became a quadriplegic. The accident deeply impacted their lives, but it didn’t change the heart of their family. Since then, both mother and daughter have grown and discovered the path to overcoming fear.
Kristen recalls a conversation between her and Evie about Jeff’s accident, which she describes as a “developmental leap” that revealed her daughter’s extraordinary growth. Evie was questioning Kristen about her dad’s accident, and the conversation turned to fear. Having just turned four when her dad was injured, Evie was too young to grasp the enormity of the situation, “But the questions she asked me now were different,” says Kristen. She was surprised by Evie’s insightful questions and admits, “They were deeper and showed a surprising level of empathy.”
As she recognizes her daughter’s striking emotional growth, Kristen acknowledges that “Sometimes the growth and change in our children seems to happen so suddenly.” In true grown-up form, Evie inquired about her dad’s state of mind at the time of the accident. When she asked her mother: “What was Daddy feeling when he was laying there?” she wasn’t referring to a physical sensation, but rather her dad’s mental and emotional state. Kristen realized she was “witnessing a growing moment;” that her daughter understood the significance of what her mom and dad experienced on that historic day. “And she showed me she isn’t afraid to talk about it,” says Kristen, in awe of her daughter’s empathy.
After their reflective mother-daughter conversation, Evie amazed her mom once again when she helped Kristen clear Jeff’s lungs one morning before she left for school. “She expertly grabbed the vent tubing … her fingers moving deftly and confidently.” Kristen is exceedingly proud of her daughter’s resilience and confidence in overcoming fear. She and Jeff welcomes Evie’s complex questions and help her deal with fear directly, without being crippled by it.
“We face it. We re-experience it. We overcome it. We learn to live with it. But mostly, we grow through it.”