Kristen has had her fair share of meeting unsuitable men and going on uncomfortable dates. Having usually dated men by meeting them in person first, Kristen decided to give online dating a try through the app Tinder. She shared her experience in an interview with Cosmopolitan on what it is like being a wheelchair user trying out online dating for the first time.
When she was 5, Kristen suffered injuries to her spinal cord after a car accident and became a paraplegic. Upon setting up her Tinder profile, Kristen was unsure of whether to include her disability in her profile. “I originally thought I should, but then my friends told me I didn’t have to do that if I didn’t want to because my disability doesn’t impact the type of activities I’m into, or who I am, or even my day to day,” she shares. On the other hand, she felt that she would be lying if she didn’t include it in.
Ultimately, Kristen chose pictures she felt best exemplified her character and personality the most. Her main objective of her online dating profile was to find people who wanted to “get to know her as a person and not her as a person in a wheelchair.”
Dating Challenges
Kristen met a guy who she connected well with on Tinder, and they decided to go on a date. She noticed that her date was uncomfortable because she did not initially disclose that she was a wheelchair user. After that first awkward Tinder date, Kristen decided to be more forthcoming in her future online conversations with potential dates.
She encountered instances when men stopped talking to her after she told them about her disability, and she recalled how those rejections impacted her self-confidence. “I really think the way these guys treated me just has a lot to do with the stigma that’s attached to being in a wheelchair because so many people look at you and they automatically assume certain things,” says Kristen.
In the end, Kristen decided to ditch Tinder and went back to dating the old fashioned way. Yet, Kristen does not regret her experience with Tinder. Being on it has helped Kristen to accept her identity as a person, and recognize that she is not defined by her disability.
“It made me realize that I am who I am as a person, and not how I get around. That’s all the wheelchair is. It’s just a mode of getting me from A to C. I’m OK with that.”
You can read more about Kristen’s dating journey in this original post by Cosmopolitan.
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