When I first began to emerge from the whirlwind of emotions and overwhelming transitions that can come with a spinal cord injury, I remember constantly wondering how I was supposed to rebuild my life. What can I still do? Am I still the same person? Where do I go from here? By no means did these answers come all at once; it took years of support from friends and family, processing my emotions and engaging in therapy, and working at my goals day by day. Some days, getting out of bed was all I could manage. Others, I was active and full of purpose. However, over time, I was able to find a balance that many might call wellness.
What does it mean to engage in wellness? What does it look like? If you search online, you will find as many definitions as there are people. It’s supplements! No, it’s meditation! No, it’s meaningful work at achieving your goals! Whatever your definition, the running theme seems to be that it is engaging in life in a way that brings a sense of health, joy, and balance. Personally (thanks to a wonderful therapist I had), I like to imagine it as a pie. Every person’s pie will look different; one person might prefer strawberry rhubarb while another is a diehard pumpkin fan and yet another likes an assortment of flavors. How you cut up your pie is the key. Too many pieces equal too many elements and can feel overwhelming. Eating the entire pie whole is unhealthy and can make you upset. I think you get the idea, but I find this a helpful way to think about how you want your life to look so that you can make tangible goals to get there.
In my own life, the balance of what wellness looks like is constantly changing. When my husband and I moved from Philadelphia to Boston in the summer of 2020, I found that I was isolated, lonely, anxious, and depressed. Beyond what was happening in the world at large at that point, I had left my job, friends, and support system and found that I had nothing to occupy my time. As a result of this transition and isolation, I was putting all my emotional and psychological needs on my husband. He became my whole pie, and it wasn’t healthy for either of us. I realized that I needed to find a better balance in whatever way that I could.
Over the course of the next year, I found a therapist, I started going to virtual support groups through the Greater Boston Chapter of United Spinal, I started planning online get-togethers with friends, I got into PT and OT again, and explored new ways to get involved in the kitchen/my love of all things cooking and food. I also started searching for jobs and exploring advocacy work. I even reconnected with a former passion by auditioning for a local choral group that had moved their rehearsals onto zoom. In short, I diversified my pie; I incorporated physical, emotional, and psychological health, joy, and balance. That is not to say that I was suddenly no longer depressed or anxious or that it happened overnight, but I was certainly able to cope with it in a much healthier way.
I have no doubt that my pie will continue to change, and I will continue to need to shift the pieces so that I can find wellness as I transition through different stages of life. However, this metaphor has allowed me to reflect on my sources of support, my coping skills, and the balance (or lack of balance) in my life. My hope for you is that you are in a space where you can explore what wellness means to you and what you want your pie to look like. What is missing from your pie? Who are the people who can help you reach your wellness goals? What small, tangible steps can you take today? This week? This month? And through it all, please remember that there is a community of wheelchair users here through United Spinal to support you on this journey; we are #StrongWheeledTogether!
