Tory and her husband are no strangers to working with youths. Tory works as a peer advocate counselor and her husband works with students with disabilities at a community college. Back home, they have 3 children as well, ages of 20, 16, and 10.
Both Tory and her husband have cerebral palsy, and they recognize that “parenting with a disability can be challenging but also very rewarding.”
The safety of their children is Tory’s and her husband’s main priority. Tory uses crutches to walk while her husband walks with a cane. They used bassinets on wheels and strollers to bring their babies out. As their children started learning how to walk, Tory and her husband used harnesses to ensure that they would not lose their children in public places. Their decision to use harnesses received unwanted stares and negative comments. But Tory and her husband remained undeterred. After all, “using the harness is better than having our kids run into traffic and getting hurt,” Tory comments.
Parenthood also comes with the challenge of understanding children as they grow up. Tory has met with parents, with or without disabilities alike, who have had trouble communicating with their children. Her advice is to never feel discouraged.
“If I were going to give a fellow parent with a disability some advice about parenting, I would have to say a sense of humor helps and lots and lots of love.”
Tory believes that the way children are raised will eventually impact their character. “I feel our kids are more sensitive towards people’s differences and are much more accepting of people,” she says. She also notices that her children are helpful towards their peers.
There is nothing that Tory will change about being a parent. “We are living a wonderful life and we and our kids are happy and succeeding and that is what matters most!”