Belo wasn’t always blind. When he was in his 20s, he was beaten by a group of men, and that beating left him with permanent damage to his retina.
“One day, I came across this group of friends from my childhood. These were other gay men. I was happy to see them. They weren’t happy to see me. They immediately started verbally attacking me and then it turned into an assault.”
Adapting to blindness
Belo had many surgeries to attempt to restore his vision, but none of them had lasting effects. After his last surgery, “I woke up and everything was pitch black. I never got anything back.” Belo explains that most people with loss of sight often have some level of vision, whether it’s shadows or faint light perception. “Only about seven percent of people are completely blind, which means they see pitch darkness, and I’m among that seven percent.”
Still, Belo hasn’t let his blindness stop him from enjoying life. He admits that the first couple years living with no sight caused him to experience depression, but he has now adjusted to life by changing his perception.
“As I learned to connect with the world in a different way, I realized that I’m not missing out on anything.”
Finding love
Belo is currently in a relationship with a man who is also blind. Belo says that dating someone who also has a disability is something both new and welcoming to him. “When you’re going out with somebody who’s not disabled, you have to teach them how to be with you, and that takes time,” explains Belo.
“This is the first time where he knows everything — he knows the etiquette, we both read Braille, we use the same adaptive technology — and it’s so nice to not have that period of teaching somebody.”
The general public, however, still has a long way to go before acceptance and understanding are part of the norm. Belo says he often encounters strangers who apologize to him for his disability. “I’ll be walking with my white cane and I’ll have men come up to me and say ‘Oh, you poor thing. I’m so sorry you’re blind,’” he shares. Belo’s response is usually to either smile or tell them it’s not necessary to be sorry. He knows that lack of experience and exposure to people with disabilities is usually the culprit.
“People with disabilities, at the end of the day, are just like everybody else. We have desires, dreams and goals. We also have fears. The only difference is we negotiate life differently, but that doesn’t mean that our lives are any less valid.”