In 2011, Kelly’s son Cole dove headfirst into a river and hit his head on a submerged rock. In an instant both Cole’s life, and the lives of his family – Kelly in particular – were forever changed. “As parents, our job is to provide strong foundations and pathways to a bright future but, in my weakest moments, I allowed my hopes and dreams for Cole to remain dashed upon that damn rock. I was wounded, too,” Kelly shares.
Documenting Milestones
As a way of coping, Kelly began documenting Cole’s recovery from his earliest days at Shepherd Center rehabilitation. “Each baby step, especially in the beginning, was a gigantic leap of hope for us. Each tube removal another symbolic step toward additional independence,” she writes. Documenting Cole’s progress served multiple purposes: it helped keeps friends and loved ones updated on Cole. It helped encourage Cole in his recovery. It also helped Kelly release intense emotions and stay organized in the process. “As Cole’s full-time advocate and caregiver, I had no time to be a disorganized mess in addition to being an overwhelmed, emotional wreck,” she adds.
Kelly began making a list of Cole’s accomplishments that helped move him forward. This list began with things early on like sipping out of a cup independently for the first time, and also included milestones achieved later on, like Cole driving his own modified vehicle. For Kelly, the act of documenting became a way to help her heal from Cole’s accident, because she was eventually able to look back at that list of achievements to see how far both she and her son had come.
“For those who care for others where recovery seems minimal or unchanged, keep in mind that growth, when viewed up close every day, can often go unnoticed and, worse, unrewarded.”
Kelly is quick to remind others that making a list like she’d done isn’t a requirement to healing. “In all ways, give your best, all the time,” she advises. “A list is really not necessary – just living a full life and recognizing, remembering, relishing and celebrating milestones, no matter how seemingly insignificant, is enough. I promise, you will begin to heal, too.”
Share this post with others to help them see one of the many ways to begin the healing process after a life-changing injury.