Sara is a wheelchair user who credits her young son Charlie with making her a better mother. As Charlie got older, he grew too heavy for Sara to pick up. “My core just isn’t quite strong enough for me to bend down, hold him with both hands and lift both of us up together – hell, I can’t even lift myself up without the use of my arms,” says Sara. She describes this moment of realization as her new normal. She didn’t let her feelings of discouragement take control, but rather she adapted and let her mommy instincts guide her through the defeated moments.
Charlie soon became skilled at challenging his mother and ignoring her reprimands, as most little boys his age do. When Charlie stopped taking her seriously, instead of acting on his defiance, Sara ignored it. She focused on the benefits Charlie would gain while growing up with a paraplegic mother. She feels sure that Charlie will learn independence faster since he can’t rely on his mom’s help with everything.
“There is no better way for a child to become strong and independent than to strip away his assistance.”
At times, Sara struggles with her inability to physically help Charlie, but she uses positive thinking and reassurance to help him accomplish the things she can’t help him with.
“‘My hands are tied and I just have to say, “Sorry Charlie, you want it, you have to figure out how to get it.’”
Although Sara can’t always help Charlie the way she wants to, she finds resourceful ways to help her son accomplish tasks on his own. When Charlie needs a snack from a high cupboard, he simply climbs onto his mom’s lap to reach it; he also uses Sara’s lap as a step to climb onto his swing. Sara has even taught Charlie how to use a yardstick to retrieve a toy from under the sofa.
“I can cheer you on patiently while you figure it out [and] provide a ladder on wheels …”
Sara appreciates the fact that Charlie learns independence from doing things on his own, and she consistently encourages Charlie’s confidence in his abilities. The proud momma describes her delight as she watches her son grow and become more independent, and she’s filled with pride when she tells her little boy, “You will be a better man, friend and father because of it.”