For able-bodied parents, seeing disabled parents may seem outside their scope of perception. We are ‘exotic’, ‘inspiring’ and indeed ‘not normal.”
For disabled mom Jennifer Senda, parenting her six-year-old son comes with a slew of questions.
“I often get asked whether or not life would be easier if I were “normal.” Normal is a matter of perceptions, and perceptions are subjective.”
There is no way to answer whether or not parenting without a disability would be easier, just like there is no way to avoid being offended by that question. “Life can be hard. I have seen mothers without disabilities struggle with certain issues that I will never have to face.” Jennifer has her own struggles to adapt to.
“Parenting is not for the fainthearted. . .I have had to learn to adapt.” She notes that all parents’ lives change and normality doesn’t exist for any family. “Children alter lives in a beautiful way. The fact that I must parent on wheels only adds to the adventure.”
Jennifer challenges everyone to think about who defines normal. She notes that life wasn’t meant to be easy; it was meant to be lived. Some of her challenges may be different from nondisabled parents, and some may be the same.
“We all pay bills, we all contend with paperwork, we all had to learn how to change a diaper. My life is no less normal than any other red-blooded adult in America.”
The fact that she lives her life on wheels is just another variable. Being close to her disability has made her son aware of compassion and tolerance, and more patient because his mommy has to do things differently. The fact that they can race each other is a bonus to him.
The established concept of normal is both outdated and offensive. While she’s not asking for anyone to bend over backwards, Jennifer just wants the basic respect and advocacy which should be given any human being. “We should be more than willing to love our diversity, and embrace what makes us the same.”
Normal is boring. Life isn’t meant to be boring.
Share this post with others as a reminder that parenting is both challenging and rewarding for everyone.