Lyllyan Blare never thought a birthday invitation for her daughter would change her perspective on parenting, but it did. Lyllyan is a wheelchair user and shares that she is always excited to have a reason to celebrate with her daughter, especially if the occasion is a birthday party for a friend. However, Lyllyan admits that when her daughter got a birthday invite to a roller skating party, she had some feelings of guilt and insecurities about her parenting skills.
“Yet a birthday invitation came for a slightly older friend who was having her party at the skating rink. Now, there are several physical activities I miss doing since becoming disabled – water skiing, hiking and roller skating being a few. And there are times I feel guilty about my lack of ability to instruct my daughter in not only these but other activities (hula-hooping, jumping rope, etc.). Before receiving the skating party invite, I would’ve told you that I would love to take my daughter to the roller rink but I quickly found this to be untruthful when faced with a reason to do so.”
Lyllyan knew that with some adaptations she would be able to enjoy the roller skating rink alongside her daughter.
But, she also had some reservations about standing out amongst the crowd at the party.
“Seeing the invitation, the words “Roller Skating Rink” kept jumping out at me as if mocking me for the inability to participate, to show my daughter how to skate, to enjoy this activity with her. At least, that was MY initial perception. I knew that I could get on the rink with her in my power chair if the building had a portable ramp but was wrapped up in anxiety over being stared at and put on display. I worried about my little girl not enjoying herself because of people staring, pointing, etc. I didn’t want to go and be the object of discussion; I just wanted to party at the rink with my kid.”
Lyllyan says she voiced her concerns to a friend, and after a pep talk, she was ready to go have some fun at the roller skating rink! The day of the party, Lyllyan made the necessary call to the rink to make sure her accessibility needs would be covered. Upon arrival, the manager had a ramp set up to get a wheelchair onto the rink itself.
“When I got the invitation, I allowed myself to forget that this life is our normal.” Lyllyan states that she got caught up in the anxiety of the situation, but what was most important was spending time with her daughter and they had a blast!