“In the realm of disability and family, we talk most often about mothers,” says Donna Thomson, who is the primary caregiver for her son, Nicholas, who has severe cerebral palsy. But lest we not forget the important roles our fathers play in our lives as well. And Donna acknowledges the huge role her husband, Jim, plays in caring for their children, particularly Nicholas.
Jim reminds Donna of her own father – one who is devoted to his family. “He is loyal, clever, hardworking, and detail-oriented,” Donna says. Jim is actively involved in his children’s lives, being in-charge of tasks ranging from helping them with difficult homework to thoroughly reviewing Nicholas’s health claims and other complicated documents.
Jim also undertakes a huge responsibility upon himself, ensuring that the family’s safety and well-being is all accounted for. He “single-handedly [created] the social safety net in our family by making financial, pension and insurance arrangements that will keep all of us safe and worry-free for our lifetimes.”
Besides taking care of all the administrative duties in the household, Jim is also active in the children’s day-to-day lives, particularly when his children were young. He participates in different hobbies and activities with the children. For instance, he enjoys watching hockey games with Nicholas, and taught their daughter, Natalie, how to ride a bicycle. In addition, Jim also adapted a waterski so that Nicholas could enjoy flying through the water.
“He skied with Nicholas when we were members of the National Capital Disabled Ski Association and he rigged a way for Nick to waterski sitting on a windsurf board with a teenaged helper behind our boat.”
All that Jim does, he does to ensure that his family is safe, healthy, and happy. Donna recognises that. “In her book, “Love’s Labor”, Eva Kittay talks about mothering a child with severe disabilities as ‘testing the very boundaries of what it means to be a parent’,” says Donna. But Donna wants to emphasize that it is not just mothers who put in great effort in taking care of their families. Fathers do, too, and Jim is a great example of such a father.
And for that, Donna just wants to say: “Thank you to my husband, my own dear father, and to all the fathers who inspire and contribute to special needs families today, yesterday, and tomorrow.”
Share this post with all fathers, especially fathers of children with special needs, to let them know that they are greatly appreciated for all their hard work and love!