When Kelvin’s son was young, he often asked his dad why he was in a wheelchair. Now, his son is old enough to understand that his dad’s disability was caused by an accident. “Now he just says ‘My papa is a wheelchair man’,” says Kelvin.
Kelvin treasures his time with Jovan, his son. They create different types of memories together. To Kelvin, any moment is the best moment.
“Not saying a single thing, that is also a moment. As long as I’m spending time with him, it’s precious.”
Finding solutions and staying positive
Kelvin doesn’t let obstacles stop him from being an active father. He wanted to be able to take his son to the beach, but he knew his wheelchair would get stuck in the sand. Not one to be deterred, he either uses big BMX tires or a ski plate attached to his chair to prevent him from getting stuck in the sand. The ones he found overseas did not deliver to Singapore, but he didn’t give up. Through connections from friends staying overseas and different shipping methods, he was able to get the ski plates just so he could go to the beach with Jovan and spend quality time with his son. Kelvin sees every obstacle as a challenge he can overcome—the first step is to stay away from negativity. He lives by what he believes to ensure he is a positive contributor to his family.
“Don’t ask questions ‘why me?’…’why can’t I do this?’ At the end of the day, it’s really your attitude towards life, the way you behave and carry yourself…you have to go beyond being positive.”
Kelvin’s advice for anyone with a disability looking to be a parent: “Don’t be afraid! Don’t be afraid you won’t be able to cope. That you can’t do this or you can’t do that. It’s not about the things you cannot do, it’s about what you can do,” he shares.
“Nobody knows how to be a parent. Nobody knows how to be a father. Nobody knows how to be a mother. Once your child arrives and you focus on the things you want to do, everything else will fall into place.”
Do you know someone who is going to be a dad on wheels? Be sure to share Kelvin’s great advice!