I love the excitement, parties, and gift exchanges of the holiday season!
Between my family’s Italian and Venezuelan roots, we get to celebrate a lot. Together, we make hallacas, which are like Mexican tamales, and the whole prep of this delicious food is a party in and of itself. It is a very laborious dish. Different families get together to prepare it, and everybody gets involved.
While preparing it, we drink Ponche Crema, a sort of extra-creamy Baileys. As the level of alcohol rises in our bodies, the fun increases, and it ends with a big celebration when we taste the first hallacas.
On the day after Christmas, we enjoy an Italian tradition of playing Tombola, which is like Bingo. It’s yet another excuse for us to get together and have fun.
But as fun and exciting as these celebrations and traditions are, like many other people with disabilities, I experience two holiday seasons at once.
The first is a time for reunions, festivity, and generosity. It’s a string of fabulous get-togethers that feel like they will never end!
The other is a series of challenges that I often experience alone, creating a feeling of isolation among all the merriment.
Celebrating while disabled
The holiday season is a time of many parties. If the celebration is in a private home, I must consider whether I can get into the house with my wheelchair.
Are there steps? I’ll need someone able and willing to lift me and my wheelchair. It’s especially stressful when it’s time to leave as many drinks have been consumed by then. For power chair users, being lifted into a friend’s house may not be possible at all.
Once inside, more sources of stress await me. Will narrow doorways prevent me from accessing the bathroom? I hesitate when reaching for a holiday cocktail. Maneuvering through a crowded room with people, Christmas trees, decorations, and tables laden with food is also daunting.
I am grateful for my wife as she hands me appetizers perched on charcuterie boards just out of my reach, but I wish I could do it myself. Mostly so I can get the bigger piece of cheese and not the sliver she chooses in her valiant efforts to help me manage my weight.
When the party is in full swing, and I want to get lost in the moment, often the world stands in my way. On the dance floor, sometimes people applaud or otherwise treat me differently because of my disability, making me uncomfortable. Sometimes, women even grab my wheelchair to dance with me without my consent.
Wheelchair users do not want to be congratulated for our bravery or treated like a curiosity. Sometimes, we just want to dance.
Worshiping while Disabled
Christmas Eve Mass is a beloved tradition for many Catholics like myself. The church fills up fast, and by the time we arrive, the accessible spots are all taken. My wife usually drops me off and goes to park the car.
Once inside, the accessible seating is full, and I need to sit in the aisle. This calls attention to me as the guy whose wheelchair is an obstacle in the middle of a pathway.
Before my spinal cord injury, I enjoyed being one of the readers during mass. That is no longer possible because the ambo, or pulpit, is inaccessible. I can no longer reach the mic or read the book.
Sometimes, people from a local assisted facility attend the same mass as I do. When this happens, their bus driver has a terrible habit of blocking my exit. I must wait for them all to board the bus before I can go to my car.
Religious institutions should go the extra mile to ensure that all their members feel included and can participate in all roles.
The Holiday Spirit Is Inclusion
Despite these challenges, I am fortunate to have a circle of wonderful friends and family who consistently go the extra mile to make me feel 100% included. Their support is unwavering, from assisting me up the stairs to ensuring I leave safely, even when we have shared a few drinks.
As we embrace the holiday season, let us all reflect on the importance of inclusivity and accessibility. By fostering environments that consider the diverse needs of all individuals, we can make the holidays a celebration for everyone. Cheers to a season filled with love, understanding, and a commitment to making every gathering accessible and inclusive. Happy Holidays!
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